


Never Alone

by unassumingvenusaur



Series: SRCU (Sahri Rhoshaan Cinematic Universe) [10]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I love my daughters so much and they both deserve to be protected, MommaWoL, P lightweight tho, Post-Eden, Spoilers all the way through!, sahri wants to be a mom so bad, why was eden so good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unassumingvenusaur/pseuds/unassumingvenusaur
Summary: Sahri and Gaia reflect on their pasts and the futures they aim to write.
Relationships: Gaia & Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Gaia/Ryne | Minfilia, Loghrif/Mitron (Final Fantasy XIV), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Series: SRCU (Sahri Rhoshaan Cinematic Universe) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058933
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short lil thing because the Eden raids gave me so many feelings, what the hell. Gaia the grumpy teen is fun to write
> 
> Follows [_Her Name_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800083/chapters/68058715) and relies on some character beats from it but live your bliss on whether that's enough to go read it
> 
> The Warrior of Light in this fic is named Sahri Rhoshaan.

Sahri rocks back and forth on her feet, standing before a door in one of the Pendants’ many hallways. The room at which she stared was none other than Gaia’s, and more than a few times Sahri has raised her arm to knock--only to lose her nerve and lower it back once more. She desperately wished to speak with the girl, but her mind continued to raise doubts. Was this selfish of her, she wonders? Gaia wanted to move forward--to her future. A future with Ryne. One they both sorely deserved...It would not do to bog her down in the past. Not now. And yet….And yet, she’d kept the name Gaia. The name she bore in the world before. Surely, that indicated some part of her wished to honour that past...What a rare chance it was, to find someone who could really, truly understand. Once in a lifetime--in dozens of lifetimes…

Shaking her head, Sahri takes a deep breath. Piece after piece of her past--loved one after loved one--had been consigned to the ages at her hand. For once, she could forge another ending. If she had the will to destroy, she had the will to create. Sahri raps her knuckles against the solid wood. 

A few moments of silence pass, soon followed by the sound of shuffling. The door creaks open, a face poking out---long black locks, deep blue eyes, and a remarkably full pair of lips. Gaia ever so slightly reels back when she sees who has come calling.

“S--Sahri…?” the girl asks, strangely hushed. “Um...Hi. Can I help you?” 

Sahri smiles at her. “I hoped to speak with you about something. Might I come in?” A small, affectionate smile rises to Gaia’s own lips. 

“I would let you, but…” Gaia opens the door wider and gestures towards her bed. On it lies Ryne, sound asleep and curled up happily. Sahri’s heart swells with warmth, and she clutches her chest. Oh, these girls were far too sweet…

“You’re right--Ryne-bean’s earned some rest,” Sahri agrees. 

Gaia’s eyes grow wide. “Ryne-bean…? What are you, her mother?” Sahri only giggles, and Gaia shakes her head in feigned exasperation. “Let’s find somewhere else to do this.” An idea floats into Sahri’s mind.

“I believe I know just the place,” she tells the girl. “Might I lead the way?”

“Be my guest.” Gaia pauses. “...Actually, hold on a moment.” The girl wanders back into her room, nearly shutting the door behind her. Through the open crack, a glint of light catches Sahri’s eye, and Gaia slips something into her pocket--the necklace Ryne made her, if she had to guess. Smiling, Sahri absentmindedly plays with her earrings, hand moving to run across the feathers she wears in her hair. Though she’d not spoken much with the girl one-on-one, it seemed they had at least one thing in common. Sahri pretends she wasn’t watching as Gaia makes her way back and shuts the door behind her.

“Onward, then,” Gaia tells her. They begin to walk, and Sahri ponders how the two might avoid an awkward silence during their stroll. Luckily, there was one topic she knew would be safe. 

“So, what were you and Ryne up to?” Sahri asks. Gaia’s face goes red.

“Erm…” The girl averts her eyes, and Sahri bursts into laughter.

“Allow me to rephrase,” Sahri offers. “How have the two of you been, of late?” The girl’s tension eases, and a smile rises to her face. 

“Well enough. After how much time we poured into studying Eden, it feels strange to be idle…”

“Oh, I know the feeling well,” Sahri tells her. “Shtola practically has to hold me down when she thinks I need some extended rest…”

“Shotla?” Gaia tilts her head. “And who might she be?” That’s right--She’d never met with the rest of the Scions before she departed for the Source.

“...Someone very special to me,” Sahri explains. Gaia’s eyes instantly brighten in recognition. 

The two keep their conversation light as they make their short journey, speaking with one another much more naturally than Sahri had expected. Though she supposed she really shouldn’t be surprised--this was not the first life they’d met, after all. After a few minutes, the two arrive at their destination and make their climb up the stairs--up to the lookout where she and Ardbert had once spoken, that day she’d nearly given up all hope. 

“Did you have to pick somewhere with so many stairs?” Gaia sighs, taking a seat and hanging her legs over the side. “My feet are killing me.”

“My sincerest apologies,” Sahri says without anything vaguely resembling sincerity. Hades would be proud of her, she thinks. She takes a seat beside the girl. “Though I do have to wonder if your choice in footwear may be more to blame than I.” 

“I’ll wear what I please, thanks,” Gaia tells her with a stifled laugh. Her face shifts back to something more serious. “So. What’s this all about? Something important, I’d imagine, if you took me all the way up here.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You can make your own judgement on that.” Sahri closes her eyes and lowers her head, hand above her heart. “...Gaia, can you promise me something?” she asks.

“Promise you?” Gaia quirks an eyebrow. “I’m afraid you’ll have to tell me what it is, first.” Sahri opens her eyes and turns to lock gazes with the girl, expression solemn.

“If at any point in this conversation, you want to stop--you don’t want to hear another word from me--please, say something,” she requests. “I’ll drop the subject, never bring it up again if you so wish. You can act as if I never asked you here in the first place.” 

Gaia frowns, her brows furrowing. “I wouldn’t have been afraid to cut you off, anyhow,” Gaia tells her. “But the fact you’d even mention that is starting to freak me out. Could you just say what it is you want to say? I could do without the suspense.” 

Sahri nods, smiling. “Of course. There is no use in belaboring the point.” Sahri turns her head forwards, casting her gaze up to the sky. The sun shines brightly above, framed by azure blue. While Y’shtola will forever associate her with the moon, Sahri was once sworn to this blazing star...

“...Does the name ‘Persephone’ mean anything to you, Gaia?”

“Persephone?” Her tone suggests she is not completely baffled. The girl scratches her cheek. “...It’s familiar, but I can’t put a face to it. Are they another one of your Scion friends?” Sahri shakes her head.

“No. It is...was my name,” she explains, heart squeezing. “Once upon a time, in Amaurot…”

“Amau--?!” Gaia’s mouth falls open, the girl slamming her hands down in surprise and leaning towards her. “You remember--? Who are you, exactly?!”

“Hades...Emet-Selch assisted me quite a deal in reclaiming my past,” Sahri tells her, holding up a familiar orange crystal to the light. Gaia’s hands clench into fists, and there is a wariness in her eyes. “While you--or at least, your past self. I will not force you to conflate the two. While your past self held the seat of Loghrif on the Convocation, I held the title of Azem.”

“Azem…The traveler.” Gaia seems surprised when that bit of information spills from her lips. “You’re telling me that you are--or were--an Ascian?”

“I could have been,” Sahri replies with a wistful smile. “But I refused Hades’ recruitment. ...From my glimpse into your past, I’d venture to say Loghrif and Mitron shared a similar bond to him and I.” Gaia’s eyes well with sorrow, and she casts her gaze downwards, clasping her hands together.

“You and Emet-Selch…?” The girl’s voice is quiet. “And yet you fought to defeat him. And...Elidibus, right? And now Mitron…”

“Nabriales, Igeyorhm...and I may as well have been responsible for Lahabrea,” Sahri adds. “Just short of half our number.”

“I...don’t remember much about all of them,” the girl admits. “Though the names do ring a bell.” She shakes her head, looking back up at Sahri. “I may have resisted Mitron for Ryne’s sake--for the sake of my future--but even if I was strong enough, I don’t think I could have killed her. Er, him,” she corrects herself. “...Persephone, was it? You’re a strong one.” Sahri smiles, and Gaia smiles back at her--the name sounds utterly natural from the girl’s lips.

“That’s no more my name than Sahri, but you may call me it if you wish,” she tells the girl. “Make no mistake, though. My strength is no greater than yours. I merely looked at the array of futures ahead--my own, and ones like you and Ryne’s--and decided they were worth seeing through. They were worth fighting for, rather than being forsaken to reclaim a long-lost past.” Sahri tilts her head. “Perhaps that sounds familiar?”

Gaia gives a short laugh. “...Yeah. Yeah, it does. You and I...We’re the same, then. Only...you’re far more remarkable.”

“I couldn’t disagree more.” Sahri’s smile shifts to something sadder. “I very nearly made the decision I knew to be wrong--to give myself to Hades’ machinations. How long I was mired in doubt, afterwards…”

“Really? You?” The girl looks at her in disbelief. “I didn’t realize that you knew how to do anything besides charge ahead into danger, unblinking.” 

Sahri giggles. “Most seem to find it a strange thought. In my...line of work, showing even a moment of doubt, a moment of weakness is enough to forfeit your life.” Her face grows more serious. “And yet, that doubt remains. Emet needed not even make me forget to sway my heart. But you, Gaia...Even as you began to remember, you never ceded him an inch. You never doubted the value of the life you currently lived. Mitron went as far as to meld your minds and souls into one, to shatter your memories given physical form, and still you fought him. Still, you refused to forget.”

“That…” Sahri smiles once more. “That is a conviction I deeply admire. One I can only strive to emulate…You’re special, Gaia.”

Gaia’s eyes have grown wide, shock written across her face. She makes several false starts at speaking before holding her hand out before her, staring at her palm. 

“That’s...a lot. I...I don’t know…” She sighs, balling her hand into a fist. “I refuse to be bound by my past. That much is true…But I’m not as unwavering as you seem to think.” She holds both her hands up to Sahri’s face. “Do you...see the ink on these?”

Now that Sahri studies them closely, she does notice a few smeared stains on them. She nods in confirmation.

“These are...these are from how much I’ve been writing in my diary, lately,” she explains. “About Ryne, and you, and our adventures, yes…” She bites her lip, eyes wettening. “But also my old memories. Before his soul faded away, I told Mitron I’d write down everything I remembered about him and I. About our lives. That way, if…” Sahri sees the girl willing her tears not to fall. “If we met again, in another life...Our time...our memories wouldn’t have been forgotten.”

“Gaia…” Sahri places her hand over her heart. Gods...Gods, she really _did_ understand...Understood the ache that would shrink, but never fade…

“I couldn’t even leave behind the name ‘Gaia,’” she continues. “Because it was what you and Ryne knew me by, yeah...But also because I didn’t want to let go of that part of my past.” She shakes her head. “You said you didn’t want to force me to conflate who I am now with Logrhif, but I’ve already been doing that. And you...you still want to be called by the name your parents gave you, unlike me. So you see? I’m not as special as you seem to think. Certainly no freer from the past…” Thoroughly dejected, the girl begins to bury her head in her hands--but stops when Sahri places her own hand on her shoulder.

“I do still think you’re special, Gaia,” she reassures. Gaia’s mouth falls slightly open. “Especially for such a young woman. When I was your age…” Images surface of burning forests, upturned earth, how often she cried into Lukah’s chest in the wake of the Calamity…She shakes her head. “...Well. I wasn’t nearly as strong as you, that’s for certain.” Gaia continues to be at a loss of words--Sahri gives her a kind smile. 

“Would...you mind if I gave you a hug?” Sahri asks. The girl reels back ever so slightly, but after a moment, she shakes her head. Sahri pulls her into an embrace--Gaia loosely returns it, slowly leaning forward to lay her head on its side against Sahri’s shoulder. She begins to rub the girl’s back soothingly. To her surprise, she hears quiet sniffling--so her tears had fallen, after all. Sahri’s hold on her tightens. She knew well the importance of allowing oneself to shed tears, to relinquish the emotional guard women like she and Gaia constantly held before them. The only alternative was to leave those wounds to fester, and that was no choice at all...

She continues to rub the girl’s back until she hears sniffling no longer. Then, Sahri speaks.

“I was unsure of whether I should speak with you about this,” Sahri admits. Gaia raises her head, and Sahri notices her tears have smeared some of the girl’s heavy makeup. She rustles through her effects and produces a handkerchief, wiping the girl’s face. Gaia grumbles, but does not object. “But I’m glad I did,” Sahri continues as she cleans up the last. “You had me well fooled--I would never have imagined you were struggling like this. Or that your struggles so mirrored my own…”

“What, in not being able to move on?” Gaia scoffs, bringing a frown to Sahri’s face.

“None of that,” she chides. “There is a marked difference between refusing to move on and refusing to forget. They can easily become tangled, but the distinction is important. Here…” Sahri reaches to unhook the jewelry from her ears, holding her earrings on her palm for Gaia to behold. “You see these earrings, Gaia?”

“Well...yeah. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you without them.” The girl folds her arms. “Or...at least, I think. This could be another case of Thancred the bookworm…” 

Sahri laughs. “No, you’re right. I do try to wear them every day. And that’s because...of who gave them to me.” 

Gaia raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? Who’s that?”

“Emet-Selch,” Sahri answers. “My Hades.”

“Him…?” Gaia does not seem as surprised as before, but her scrunched face betrays contemplation. 

“Yes. Him,” Sahri confirms. “Do you want to know the last thing he ever asked me? Asked me, as his soul finally passed to the ages?” Sahri looks Gaia directly in the eyes, smiling wide. “He asked me to remember. Not out of sorrow, but with a smile. And I smiled back, told him I would.” She clutches the earrings, holding them to her chest. “I didn’t know Mitron like you, but I have to imagine he was happy when you told him the same. Preserving your memories in a diary...It’s a beautiful thought.”

“...Thanks,” Gaia tells her, eyes softening. “I figured...it was the only way I could make sure that nothing slipped between my fingers.”

“Perhaps I should consider doing the same,” Sahri muses. “Shtola and I have some ideas on how to remember Hades properly, but they are all long-term in scope. Recording my memories in the meantime would certainly grant me some measure of peace…”

“Hades…” Gaia repeats. “That’s his real name, then? Emet-Selch’s?”

“It is.” Sahri puts back on her earrings. “He told me it...before we clashed.”

Gaia’s eyebrows rise. “...A strange time to do so.” 

“He had a fondness for the art of the dramatic reveal,” Sahri remembers with a smirk. Gaia gives a short laugh.

“Sounds like a real piece of work.” Her smile turns reflective, and she leans her head on a hand. “...Mitron’s was Artemis. At least, I think so. That’s what I remembered…”

“Artemis?” Sahri taps her cheek. “...That does ring familiar.” 

“It’s strange, though,” Gaia tells her. “Whenever I think of that name--or even ‘Mitron,’ for that matter--I always think of a woman, first.” She shakes her head. “I can’t tell if that’s just my scrambled memories talking, or if it really means something…”

“A woman...Well, it’s not impossible,” Sahri informs the girl. “After all, Ardbert was a man and I a woman, despite both being shards of the same soul.” 

“You and Ardbert were…?” An amused smile rises to Gaia’s face. “That makes almost too much sense.” Sahri chuckles. 

“So it does. My point is, it’s more than possible that the unsundered Artemis was a woman, the shard we encountered only happening to be a man. Or perhaps you knew Mitron as a woman in some other life. It’s all well within reason.”

“I see...Good to know.” Gaia places a hand over her heart. “Well...he, she, they...whoever Artemis was, it doesn’t change the promise I made. Or what they meant to me.” 

“Of course…” Sahri gives the girl a reassuring smile. “Love is a most durable force. One that doesn’t easily sway.” Gaia flushes a slight pink, but she does not deny the word _love_. Instead, she asks a question.

“I’m curious,” she starts. “You seem to have a much better grasp of the past than I. More memories. Did you come to me because you remembered some sort of connection between us?” 

“I...don’t remember nearly as much as I’d wish,” Sahri confesses. “Even with Hades’ help. I can’t say I know much about our relation beyond the vaguest familiarity. Perhaps we were the best of friends. Or perhaps we never interacted outside of official business. Regardless, the past does not have to define who we are to each other, now.”

Gaia tilts her head. “And what is that, exactly?”

“Kindred spirits,” Sahri explains, placing a hand on the young woman’s shoulder. Gaia’s eyes grow wide. “Two of a kind. You’re not alone in these feelings, Gaia, and you never will be. I’ll be here to share them. To talk to. That, I promise you.” 

Gaia’s face continues to flush, and she averts her eyes...but a small smile forms on her face. She places one of her hands atop Sahri’s.

“...Well, you’re...not alone either, Persephone.” When Gaia turns back her head, Sahri is beaming at her. “Now that you’ve promised that, you’d better not go disappearing for months on end. The First may be safe now, but Ryne still gets all misty-eyed when you’re gone for too long.”

“I’ll visit as often as I can,” Sahri promises her. “There are many I care about here, you and Ryne among the foremost.” Sahri folds her arms, smile taking on a teasing edge. “But when I can’t be around, I’m counting on you to take care of her for me.”

“...I planned to,” Gaia says, embarrassment clashing with joy. 

“I mean it, too,” Sahri continues. “You’re all she has, here. She adores you with all her heart--so don’t you dare go breaking it! Keep her smiling. Keep her laughing. And I know how exciting young love can be, but please, don’t do anything reckless!” Gaia begins to sputter, but Sahri keeps on going, any attempt at teasing subsumed by utter sincerity. “You need to be responsible to each other--with each other. Keep each other safe, healthy, happy--”

“Yes, _Mother_ ,” Gaia finally cuts her off. Sahri grins and clasps her hands beside her head in joy. She pats the girl on the head, and Gaia rolls her eyes with exaggeration. “That wasn’t supposed to make you--Ugh, never mind.” Sahri withdraws her hand when the girl begins to stand. “Speaking of Ryne, I’m worried she’ll wake up soon. I don’t want her wandering around looking for me. Let’s head back.”

“Of course,” Sahri agrees, standing as well. “Why don’t I buy you two some coffee biscuits on the way back? A token of my thanks.” 

Gaia’s eyes light up. “Now _that_ is a good idea, Persephone. To the markets, then.” 

“The markets…” An idea pops into Sahri’s head. “While we’re there, might we stop by the Wandering Stairs? There’s a friend I want to introduce you to. She’s someone else you two can lean on when I’m not around…”

“Sure.” Gaia walks towards the stairs, Sahri following. “Who’s she, then? Another adventuring friend?” 

“Of sorts.” Sahri smiles. “She expressed interest in meeting you, actually. She goes by Cyella, though there’s a different name you might know her by…”

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY this is my pet theory about Mitron and I am absolutely going to take a moment to preach this sizzling take
> 
> We learn in one of the last scenes in Eden that "his" true name was "Artemis," a very notable Greek god _dess_ and reference to Ultimecia (which can be rendered "Artemisia", thanks wiki). Eden itself is obvs very feminine coded, from the base form all the way to Eden's Promise, and Logrhif didn't recognize Mitron in that echo flashback. 
> 
> Mitron was a woman in Amaurot and the shard that became an Ascian just happened to be a dude!! They were Amaurot lesbians I can feel it in my bones... *Steps down from conspiracy platform*


End file.
